Thursday, October 16, 2014

A Deep Grave


Linking with Poetry Jam for the "Graveyard" prompt with Laurie.
God pours life into death and death into life without a drop being spilled. ~Author Unknown

It was a grave decision when he took beauty over deeper things
like a porcelain vase he just had to touch
he reached out his hand to caress
the detailed edges
and then
in a moment
he was too
far gone
by breath
he gave
all he
to her
there was
nothing left
to give
he lost it all
his wealth
the beauty of true love
his heart and the girl
leaving a vacuum in his soul the size of a mass grave
yes it was a grave decision when he took beauty over deeper things.


  1. it's sad that he lost everything..beautiful lines carrie

  2. a grave decision indeed when one looks for the gross leaving out the subtle...nice play on 'grave' the layout that looks like a bowl of hollowness...

  3. Squeezing out the very last bit of everything he had...the format fits so well. Nice lesson, well written, Carrie.

  4. Nicely done and a great way of making the prompt come alive. Always go for the deeper things.

  5. Nicely done with what I assume is a form around line lengths. A sad tale however.

  6. when you decide to settle for what is temporary
    your treasures will only be temporary you know...
    i pity him a bit...

  7. A poem of lessons and loss. A unique approach to the prompt!

  8. I like how the layout emphasizes the loss and nothingness. This is indeed sad.

  9. A vacuum in his soul the size of a mass grave...this is a great line and expresses the devastation brilliantly. Not an uncommon scenario...the stuff novels and literature have been based on over the centuries. Enjoyed the way you used a form as well Well done !

  10. Really touched my emotions, Carrie. To lose absolutely everything is devastating.

  11. Beauty over deeper things...
    There's so much that life has to offer. It's really "grave", but most don't realize even after they go to their grave....
    Touching as usual, Carrie...

  12. I like this poem and the different approach to the subject